Back From My M.I.A

Hadn't realized it's been almost 4 months since I last wrote..... But what is there to share bout my pretty boring life these days?? I've a bf who stays with me now since the last time I wrote, though my FB's profile is forever single ( hey, I'm definitely not trying to be single...just that well...it's complicated... )

It's weird how stuff works out... ZR n me has been on-off, on-off for more than a year now, never thought we would make it to where we are now..... But that's life for you huh? Just when you thought you would never find love, it just hits you like that!! K, enough of this sappy shit, cause it does seem pretty boring to be bragging bout the love of your life( or rather my life) , but what else can I say is new in my life right?

But honestly, I've never had a relationship where we see each other everyday & yet things just seem to get better with each passing day ( pathetic huh? 26 yrs of age & all I've ever got outta my love life is experience and nothing else) But, things seem different between me & ZR.. I never get sick of seeing him, and the bond we share seems to just get stronger & stronger.... ust am afraid of getting another disappointment again.. *crossing my fingers hoping I'll never have to fall outta love again*

From Hong Kong To Bali....

Okay... Guess I need to write more on HK... My previous post wasn't very detailed, I think..Here goes.....

I arrived in HK feeling super cold, but yes I had checked the weather before I left, but I didn't expect to be freezing!! It was the 1st day of Chinese New Year when I got there so there wasn't that much stores open + I reached at approximately 8-9pm.. Went to check in at the hotel at Yau Ma Tei, had a shower & left my hotel to see if I could get food & probably some shopping....Nothing much *sigh* Bought Wanton noodles from a place near my hotel & headed back to the warmth of my room...Definitely had to get some coats.... Couldn't sleep early as I'm very much of a night owl....

Slept till pretty late the next day & went in the hope of getting some shopping done... Walked the whole stretch from Yau Ma Tei to Mong Kok...Yippee!! I got coats, leggings, boots & some other stuff...I'm all prepared for the cold weather now! Basically for the entire time in HK all I did was to shop, eat, sleep ( Yau Ma Tei, Jordan, Temple Street Market, Ladies' Street Market, Tsim Tsa Tsui, Jardine Bazaar, Causeway Bay) & yeah that's it... Met this guy in HK who isn't really very much of a looker who tried chatting me up & within 10mins of conversation, he was like " I really like you, could you be my girlfriend?"

Hello Mr!! What the hell are you thinking right? I mean do I even know you??!! My God!! Why don't you just tell me that all you really want is to get into my pants??!! Sheesh..

I moved from hotel to hotel in HK, from Yau Ma Tei to Mongkok then to Sheung Wan. Sheung Wan was pretty dead at night though it was much closer to Lam Kwai Fong than the previous 2 hotels I stayed at. During my stay there had went to this place for drinks at 1 Peking, it had a really good view of HK at night.... Even took the ferry once =) Guess I did do pretty much afterall... LOL!! Though my itinerary the entire trip looked pretty much the same everyday, just had different locations to cover =p

Enough about HK since I'll probably be going back real soon.... Now Bali (where I'm currently typing fr0m) Bali is sunny, and totally different from HK... Not much shopping to be done here.. And seriously this is the 1st airport that I've been to that actually allows someone else to get your passport chopped for you! The resort had arranged for someone to pick me up at the airport & when the guy came. He told me to wait for him while he took my passport to get chopped.. Handed my passport to him & within 5mis he came back with it chopped! Wow! I'm like "You sure??!! Don't they need to see my face or something??" Really incredulous!! The car then took me to the resort named Amanusa... My room was really nice with an outdoor pool and a little tent / bed... Two dressing tables, a bathtub, an indoor & an outdoor shower, a big queen sized bed, an LCD TV, CD player, mini bar, desk, wi-fi.... Everything!! Who needs shopping now? Actually I do *gives a sheepish smile* ... LOL... Though I had come here to really enjoy the spa massage really... It felt so rejuvenating!! I'm such a sucker for massages.... But I still had to walk around and check out the shopping...though I must say I was pretty disappointed =( nothing to buy here... Unless you're into handicrafts n batik n low quality knock-offs...

After my 2 week long continuous holiday, I really don't want to go back to Sg... Sigh...too bad I'm not Lee Ka Shing's daughter.... Running low on my $$$ and it's the month end!! Darn, the bills are just waiting to be paid.... Guess I'll better get all the massages I want here, then it's back to work again in Sg,,,,Sigh... Just realized it's 5.20am and I'm still so awake!! Woke up at 5pm today LOL... Maybe I should go to New York to wake up sleep the normal hours people do..... Am gonna run a bath in the tub so I can go soak & relax since I've nothing else to do nor do I feel sleepy yet.... Tata

Hong Kong~Hong Kong

Am finally updating my blog... I seemed to have "vanished"....Been in Hong Kong the past 9 days, oh man!!! My pocket's got such a big hole now =p but it doesn't really matter.... Cause I've got lotsa new additions to add to my very very boring wardrobe... Can't believe I really came to HK alone just like that (*snaps fingers) Isn't life meant to be fun & spontaneous...HK is seriously a place where there's so much to buy, I can't stop!!! Don't mean to sound "bimbo-ish", but seriously life in HK is pretty much like life in Singapore...Eat, shop, club...... Yes I've now been to the famous Lam Kwai Fong, Kowloon, Causeway Bay, eaten the egg tarts & pineapple bun, taken the MTR & yes my Cantonese still is pretty lousy....LOL!! Though I can't say there's lots of good food here, or rather the food here ain't really my cuppa tea & it's more expensive than S'pore!!!! Gosh, am always complaining bout Sg, can't believe there's actually stuff that I do miss from Sg =)

After staying here for the past 9 days, have decided I really wanna get outta Sg.... I may wanna stay here for a while more... Though yep, like I said, HK is pretty much a Cantonese speaking Sg, but at least I'll be out of Sg.... Yes, yes, am sick of my life in my own country... Guess every1 says that huh? But if I don't get out now that I'm still young..Ok!! Not that young, but at least not that old.... I'll neva see different things, get new experiences & meet different people... I hate my life to be stagnant... Sigh... Have to leave my shopping paradise for awhile though.... Ain't that rich =p

I will be coming back pretty soon though!! HK wait for me!!

Sorry!! It's My Cranky Mobile

Okay,Mr B as you have been complaining for 2 consecutive days now, I'm gonna pronounce you "found not guilty" k? Mr B feels maligned, cos he definitely wasn't & isn't giving me the cold shoulder... I therefore pronounce my cranky mobile guilty as charged!!!! Why is my mobile guilty for the cold shoulder? Ok, here goes... my mad hp went really bonkers, people call me & the phone gets through, but on my side, my phone doesn't ring at all... Nope not on silent mode, it totally doesn't show any1 calling!! Fark the freakin phone! So Mr B, blame Nokia or ST like I told you =p Hope you're happy now that your name's been cleared, LOL!!
Luckily I've already solved this problem by upgrading my software =) No wonder Nokia now allows you to download the latest software for your phone free from their webby....
Finally I feel refreshed!!! Went for a Javanese massage, was really in need of some TLC.... Boy, did it feel good!! Seriously, I've decided to get a massage once a week or at least once every fortnight =) Really, a great massage can do wonders... *hint*hint* to someone Hahahahhahah

Money $ Money $ Money $

Bored...My life lately has been really boring, what has happened??? Everyday all I do is clean my room..Crazy right? The thing is I don't wanna keep sleeping, and as much as I would like to go out, it just means spending money & I really wanna save... Sigh.... But as far as the cleaning goes, I'm only cleaning my room, k that's a little selfish, but then I see the size of the living room & I'm deterred LOL...If I had a choice, I would stay in a small small house with not many display items.. Simple, clean & easy to maintain.... Why is my life so boring? I'm single, I should be having parties, living the life ( what seriously does this mean?) None of all these, just plain old boring me turning into some cleaning lady with too much time on her hands.. I seriously should get out & do something, but doing stuff means $$$$ again...Aargh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I need to do something with my life seriously.....

Wat's the title?? I have no IDEA???!!!!!!!

Haven't been updating my blog in a while....Hibernating lately....Laziness is eating me, just wanna slack & hope $$$ drops from the sky, which of course is impossible....Said I wanted to stop being selfish, but can't seem to stop myself, I just can't stand being alone...But what if I still feel lonely sometimes when he's here? Is there something wrong with me??? Back from work after a week hiatus, still uncharged LOL....Lil' Ms Lazy....Sigh
Been thinking of Mr B off late, don't know why but he's been giving me the cold shoulder, and perverse as this sounds, it makes me think of him more!! I know I'm crazy.... Seriously, I don't even know why I'm feeling this way??!!! Madness....Don't know why but I just can't seem to get rid of the sickening emptiness I feel, even Z's not helping....In fact he seems to sometimes amplify the empty feelings I have even when he's beside me.... I wish he was older, or rather more grown up, I'm lost as a lamb myself, (reaching 26 without much directions in life is really shitty...sigh), imagine having to look out for someone who seems even more lost then I am??!! But I have the skills of giving really practical advice only to find myself not being able to put my theories into good use when it comes to running my own life...Sucks...
Been eating quite a fair bit these days, aargh, I so don't wanna put on the weight I lost...Darn those hunger pangs & my greediness & lack of willpower...Waiting for my hair to dry.....I wanna conk out real soon, but my hair's so wet & I don't wanna use a hairdryer.....Zzzz

Goodbye Lil' Ms Selfish

Finally I've woken up.... Eyes Wide Open, seeing things through eyes other than my own. Always thought I'm a nice person...But finally I know I never was... I finally know the meaning of Empathy.....Though I feel used & stupid, there's always the other person who probably feels even worse than I do...I can choose to be selfish again, but no I will not...I will live my life the way I really should, though loneliness is my worst enemy, I know I'll get over it...I seriously feel sad, but it's the feeling of knowing what a horrible & selfish person I was that makes me really hate myself....
Yes, I do hate him & his lies, but then there's some1 who didn't lie to me & yet I was so selfish I only thought of me....But from this very moment, I'll never do that again....Goodbye to the love triangles I've selfishly entangled myself in...

I'm Alone Now - Beyonce

This song describes how I feel so accurately!!! So just thought I'll put the lyrics here....


It really hurts to say this yes it does
But after a while sweet love just ain't enough
So many settle for less just because
Maybe I'm more in love with what it was
But what gets so confusing baby
You and me
It's been so much confusion lately
You couldn't see that you were losing me

Well I'm alone now but I ain't lonely
I'm on my own now
But I ain't the only
Honestly I'm fine
I'll take this time to concentrate on me
And I've got possibility to keep me company

Won't you just assume he doesn't care
To internalize it all just isn't fair
So I address the problem so that he's aware
But I still feel all alone even when he's there
Maybe we can fix it baby
I know we can
If I make you miss it baby
Then maybe you will understand

That I'm alone now but I ain't lonely
I'm on my own now
But I ain't the only
Honestly I'm fine
I'll take this time to concentrate on me
And I've got possibility to keep me company

Just Another Day...

Another Saturday has passed... Oops, it's Sunday morning now!! Juz finished my bath...Hate the pimples popping on my cheeks!!!!!!!!!!! (am doing a facial mask now hee..) Today CR's business was pretty okay, am really happy a customer told me many people are coming not only for the band but for the local dancers =) Yippee!!!!! My flowers are coming back...Yay!!!!!! Though was late for work again as usual....Sigh,my penalty's really getting too much....Better really manage my time properly.....Am really happy today, though was pretty pissed yesterday...
That asshole's mum-in-law called me to tell me to leave him alone....But we have already not been contacting each other for the past few weeks, though coincidentally he msged me the day before "just to ask how am I?" As if!! Feel used, cause have a feeling he's out with other girls and had purposely used me as an excuse!! HELLO??!!! Or else why would he have msged me out of the blue right? Was so so angry..... I msged him to ask him back for my mobile broadband, though yep I do not need it...But I seriously do not wish to have anything to do with such an asshole!! And told him that after he returns it to me, please please NEVER ever contact me again!! And honestly, I really really mean it this time...Don't know why I even bothered bout him really, all those tears shed....What a waste of my time and tears!!!
Am so glad this time I really have decided to let go and acknowledge him as the PAST!! I go girl!!!!!

Aargh!!!

Bored.....Didn't have a good sleep yesterday, think I've probably been sleeping too much the past few days =p That irritant smsed me again last night, idiot!!! Really, can't he just leave me alone? Made me feel so unhappy all over again.... Seriously, the next time he calls or msges me I'll never never reply....Know he's purposely doing this to me & I hate it... It's like being manipulated by him & I can't stand myself being so weak!! I will NOT be manipulated by anyone especially him!! PISSED!!!!!!

Pix Taken At Atlantis

Sigh......

Was off yesterday, 1st went to PS Cafe as Sandy wanted to have her birthday dinner there.....Am so happy I could get to catch up with her...Really missed her so so so much....Joyce & Zhenxin was there too....After dinner we headed to Atlantis....Been a long long time since I had so much fun clubbing with frenz....Hope Sandy enjoyed her bday, am really happy I could meet up with all my gals after so long.... After a few drinks started to think of him once again...Sigh...
After Atlantis, the gals wanted to go home but I didn't feel like heading home so went to CR to look for Nigel & gang after which headed to SH to continue drinking.... Nigel got drunk so accompanied him together with Bing to Teck Whye....Left at 8 plus in the morning!! OMG!!!! Worst of all I couldn't get a cab, had to on call plus the surcharge & all... The cab fare was like $23...So ex!!!!
Reached home, but couldn't sleep, so decided to clean my room, change my sheets....Finally I felt tired & wanted to go to bed...Saw my sis-in-law crying & found out that Amber had jaundice & she had no $ to let Amber stay in hospital. Lent her $500 to rent the treatment bed for Amber. Sigh...I really thought I could clear my debts & finally start saving some money for my manicure course..Really pissed with my bro....Can't blame my sis in law cos I know her situation. but my bro!!! Aargh....Why do I feel like I'm always the one to have to clean up his mess for him...Really hate it....He's 27 this year & yet he doesn't seem to know what responsibility means.....Really....Am so disappointed, had really wanted to save my money...I'm no longer youbg either, I do need to plan for my future too. Every time I tell myself I really am gonna save, something happens...Worse, I'm always being implicated into a mess which isn't mine...Really I pity GY & the kids...When will he ever grow up????????

To You...

Yesterday a fren shared with me many of her secrets...I could feel the pain inside her and I really feel sad... She's one of the nicest girls I know & yet she always seems to have endless problems...I used to think that I have a lousy childhood & have endless problems...But after hearing her tell me everything about herself, I realise my life isn't half as bad as I think it is. I really do hope life will get better for her...

**Dearie, if you are reading this, I just wanna say, there's a;ways sunshine after the rain k? Don't dwell on the past, look forward...I'll be your listening ear whenever you need me....**

Sick..

Sigh....Sick the entire week....didn't want to go to work yesterday, luckily Candy forced me to go....But I reached at 11.30pm. OMG!!! But am so glad I went...Lately, I have been trying to busy myself with stuff to do....Went to Yoga with Candy, the stretching was super tedious, but I had great fun, and with all the activities I have, I can finally not think of him...
Though he did sms me at times telling me he missed me, I replied him the way a normal friend would have. I rejected his invitations to lunch 2....But at this current moment, I miss him...I really do...Should I call him?

Monday Blues ~ 04-01-10

Been crying so much my eyes hurt... Was off yesterday & went drinking with Shirley....My off days used to be reserved for him but recently he seems to have an agenda so full and important, I'm always excluded... Week after week, day after day I keep getting more and more hurt and disappointment from him. I keep thinking that I have grown immune, but yesterday when he didn't even bother to call or sms me, I couldn't stop my tears from falling. Honestly, I really don't know why the change in him is so great.. I told myself I had to stop deluding myself and the only way to prevent continuously getting hurt was to break up right?I texted him telling him that we should go our seperate ways. And he replied telling me OKAY!!!!!!!??????? My heart broke, really, it's like he didn't care, as if he was just waiting for me to say this a long time..

Tears kept pouring out of my eyes... But at least I told myself I will only be sad for awhile and then I'll be fine...Why did he have to bother messaging me this morning? I really don't get him, why would some one wanna hold on when he obviously doesn't care anymore? Although he said sorry, if he really meant it, why doesn't he show it? Though he did ask me to meet up for lunch but he should know that I really am pissed this time, why would I agree to meet right? All day he only used messages, he hasn't called me once........Why am I even bothering myself over him when it's so obvious he's just not into me anymore??

Sigh...Was supposed to go too Malaysia with Silver but I woke up late...Now all I can do is stay home and continue wallowing in self pity... I hate myself honestly...I feel really stupid for ever believing in him....Why?????